What would be the most impressive thing to steal and get away with?

What would be the most impressive thing to steal and get away with?



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  • I’ve had the ultimate yacht Heist planned for years. All you have to do is go down before a big hurricane comes select the finest yacht, sail it away and then when the hurricane comes and you see boats all over the shoreline trashed, the owners will assume their boat is also trashed. But no. Its 25 miles up river in a boathouse getting reoutfitted. Cha-ching!
    Original Owner gets a new boat from insurance, everyone is happy.

  • Liam Neeson’s daughter.

  • A Cadillac from a Detroit assembly line, in your lunchbox, one piece at a time.

  • A few years ago some people in white coats with clipboards and a ‘piano removals’ van walked into my music conservatoire, told the front desk they were here to collect a steinway grand for repairs.

    Staff helped them load this £80,000 piano into their van, they drove off and were never heard from again.

  • I used to work at Microsoft and for a period around 2006 there was a string of car thefts from one of the campus garages. These guys were showing up in workwear (coveralls) with a flatbed truck and just straight up loading cars onto their truck and driving away.

  • The rug with the presidential seal in the Oval Office.
    Not only a national treasure, but it brings the room together.

  • a UPS truck

    then I’d drive to an open field and start ripping open packages and look at the array of random shit people ordered online

    car parts, food, dog toys, dildos, electronics— it would be crazy

  • So apparently Sports Authority when it was still in business was one of the easiest places to steal from because I have two completely separate group of friends that stole some big items from there.

    First group: 2 guys. One guy walks in and grabs a bicycle while the other one grabs a kayak. Guy rolls the bike out while the other one carries the kayak out like they bought it

    Second group: Also 2 guys. They walk in and grab two of those multi people tents ($400+) and carry them right to the customer service desk. They tell the employee that their mom bought the tents but lost the receipt and asks if they can return them without the receipt. The employee tells them they can only get store credit for them. So they said “okay, nevermind then” and left with them. They went back a week or two later after they used the tents and returned them for store credit.

    Maybe so many people stole from Sports Authority that it ran out of business?

  • Went to a friend’s wedding in Florida. She was the bride and asked if I wouldn’t mind driving over to the supermarket (Publix) to pick up the catering for the bridal party’s lunch. I drive over, speak with the deli manager, and in 15 minutes I’m loading up a shopping cart with about $250 worth of chow. I got a bottle of wine for my hotel room that night. Go to the checkout, put the wine on the conveyor. Pay for it. I motioned to all the food in the cart and say that it was pre-paid (as I assumed it was) for the wedding and the cashier smiles and wishes me well for the day. The bagger assisted me out to the car. Get back to the bridal party with all of the bags. Bride asked me how much everything was. I said I didn’t pay for it ’cause I thought you did. She hadn’t. So I had a jolly time inadvertently shoplifting c.$250 of food.

    EDIT 1: A lot of folks have commented that my friend the bride set me up, but later I found out that she had delegated payment to her groom who, while a nice funny guy, is (how to put this) useless and forgot to pre-pay for all of the grub.

    Kudos, though, to the Publix staff, from the deli manager who helped me load the shopping cart, to the kind cashier and the bagger kid who helped me out to the car. I’m sure they have me on CCTV, jaunting behind the cart like Uncle Remus singing “zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-day” while I rip off the store.

  • The Eiffel tower, it’s been attempted many times

  • The D from the hollywood sign

  • A kid in my high school class stole a canoe from Sears–just started walking out with it like he’d just bought it. He even had an employee he encountered on the way out help him to his truck.

    I don’t condone shoplifting by any stretch, but…damn.

  • The popemobile

  • Guy from college hopped over the bar in the club and stole their entire credit card payments system – a few machines, wires, everything. It was funny at the time…

    but it’s even funnier today.

  • Iowa class battleship. I had a plan to pull it off too, 100% legal. Or, possibly, a few minor felonies but still results in legal ownership of a battleship.

    The USS North Carolina is a museum ship that is undergoing repairs to the hull, they decided to keep in in place and build a coffer dam around it to drain the water, but at one point they were considering towing it to a dry dock. I’m acquainted with a military historian who was to be honored by being made temporary captain of the ship, because if the tow chain broke and the ship had no captain, anyone could claim it as abandoned.

    My piracy scheme should be obvious- chopper in, cut the tow chain, hoist the captain onto the chopper, and raise the Jolly Roger over a 30,000 ton battleship. I’m sure there is some minor illegality involved with cutting the chain and involuntary helicopter hoisting, but worth it to enter the history books as a legendary pirate.

  • The moon

  • The sphynx.

  • Mona Lisa – that thing is watched by hawks

  • Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair

  • My heart.

  • Stealing a stadium and/or quarry.

  • There is a prominent meteor hunter who sold a huge meteor from Argentina to a collector in Japan. Price was over a million dollars. After loading it on a truck and heading to the airport in Buenos Aries he was detained by the police. Turns out it was a National Landmark and a con artist sold it to him.

  • I tried to steal a large painting from a bar. It didn’t work and I can tell you they definitely weren’t impressed.

  • While young dumb and drunk my best friend and his brother attempted to walk out of a McDonald’s we were at with a life sized Ronald McDonald statue that was in the store..the employees were dumbfounded and didn’t really attempt to stop them…but it was apparently really heavy so they didn’t get far before having to drop it. They only lived around the corner from the store and police showed up there about 30 minutes later (someone we knew worked at the McDonald’s apparently) and asked us….”did you guys try steal a Ronald McDonald tonight?” We laughed and told them no and nothing ever came of it

    At the time I thought it was impressive and hilarious

  • 17 sperm whales

  • The Declaration of Independence of course

  • My virginity. Go ahead and try it. I dare you.

  • [The Sistine Chapel Ceiling](https://i.redd.it/lwdh1lpzcl3y.png)

  • In the 50’s someone (probably students) stole a car and re-assembled it on the dome of one of the buildings at MIT.

    A police car.

  • The Grand Canyon

  • A copy of half life 3

  • David Miscavige’s house key.

  • Back when I was a teenager, me and a few friends liked to shoplift here and there. Nothing major but we’d go to places like zumiez or hollister and steal a shirt, typical stupid teenager shit.

    Anyway, we had a method for removing the security tags, and we got the idea that it would be the ultimate shoplifter street cred move to steal an actual security tag.

    Hollister used to have these door/window things along the front of the store that were open just a little bit (to look more tropical or something) so I found a necklace with a security tag on it, walked around like I browsing, then got up by one of the windows and slid it on the floor towards the opening.

    After that I went outside the store, walked over to the window where the security tag was, pretended to tie my shoe, and threw it in my pocket.

  • Fort Knox.

  • Quick question… Is OP really just Carmen Sandiego planning to come out of retirement?

  • My dad and his friends used to wait for the beer delivery truck to come to a store in their town to make his delivery. He said they’d have one person walk down the road while a car followed far behind to not look suspicious. When the driver got out of the truck, he’d unlock the back and go around front to let them know he was there. At that point, they’d hop in the back while the car sped down the road and opened the trunk while they loaded it with beer.

    One time, one guy went a bit too far. Instead of grabbing a few cases of beer, he said “screw it, let’s take the whole damn truck!” So they did. He hopped in the driver’s seat and took off down the road and parked it in the woods on his property. My dad told me they threw some wild parties for a month until the beer was gone, but eventually someone let the cops know what happened and the driver went to prison. They’d gotten away with it for quite a while actually, but yeah he probably shouldn’t have parked it on the property and left it there.

  • [removed]

  • A delivery truck near Christmas! Think of all the presents!! I’m pretty sure they have Geo locaters on them, not to mention it’s a federal crime 🙁

    Always thought it would be neat though

  • A 221 pound gold coin from a Museum in the center for Berlin:
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/12/world/europe/berlin-gold-coin-maple-leaf.html
    Well in the end they did get caught.

  • the crown jewels of the UK

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