So help me

So help me

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  • And then He smote wolfman jack, and there was much rejoicing

  • Put that thing back where it came from

  • Is there a burger on that table?! How long have people been eating sandwiches?

    Edit: this is now my third highest rated comment wtf reddit.

  • God didn’t skip this deadlifts damn

  • This is a depiction of the story of Zeus and Lycaon.

    A long long time ago, Zeus was chilling on Olympos having a pretty good time, as he was wont to do. He hears from the other gods that shit on Earth is getting pretty fucked up. Humans aren’t doing their proper sacrifices and ignoring other important mortal duties. There’s a general uproar on Olympos because of this, with many gods clammering for the complete destruction of Earth and its impudent mortals. So Zeus decides to do his kingly duty and go see what the hubbub is about.

    Zeus descends to Earth and disguises himself as an old beggar. In ancient Greek culture, it’s considered the height of good manners to help strangers in need, so if Old Beggar Zeus got the help he deserved, then humanity can’t be all that messed up. So Zeus comes to the palace of King Lycaon and asks to be let in. Lycaon first says to buzz off, but Zeus says “Well… Maybe I’m Zeus in disguise. You should treat me better”. “Oh *my mistake*, mighty Zeus. Come riiiiight in,” replies Lycaon.

    Lycaon brings the old smelly beggar into his home and teases him about possibly being Zeus. Suuuure you are, old man. You surely can be the king of Heaven. I bet you are. I’m going to make a speeeeeecial dinner just for you.

    So Lycaon kills his own son and butchers him, because Lycaon really is just a swell guy all over. He has his chefs cook up the son-meat for the beggar as a trick. Lycaon eagerly awaits the hungry old man to finish stuffing his face with blasphemous meat so that he can reveal that it was really his son the entire time and the old man has damned himself by consuming manflesh!

    But as Lycaon brings out the “delicious” meal, Zeus throws off his disguises and immediately recognizes the food in front of him as Lycaon’s own son, butchered in order to taunt a poor beggar. Zeus is furious and smites the king by turning him into a wolf, forever doomed to lust after human flesh.

    And then Zeus goes back to Olympos, mad as all hell, and decides that humanity was a mistake and he drowns the entire Earth. The end.

  • [wolfman_irl](

  • “When your dog keeps trying to steal food off your plate”

  • So help me me,

  • OwO *notices ur ribs*

  • (Which is me)

  • There’s a lot going on in that picture…

  • Now those are forearms.

  • Lmao is that a fucking lycanthrope??

  • This reminds me of the interaction Geralt had with the magic beast in The Last Wish

  • I think that might be [Wagner]( trying to get them ribs.

  • I think I saw that guy on the left drinking a pina colada at Trader Vick’s. Great hair.

  • HAKAI!

  • Yahweh!!!!

  • Robb Stark has bad luck at fancy banquets.

  • What is the title of this painting?

  • What a hypocrite. Wasn’t God the guy who stole Adam’s ribs?

  • Joey Tribiani

  • What is this picture from? Most of the ones I see in this subreddit don’t have cool things like werewolves or vampires just normal things like models half naked looking like a Greek God. Why don’t we get more posts on here with stuff like this?

  • Is it me, or is Wolfy’s head disproportionately smaller than his body?

  • Where do these paintings come from???

  • This is that one situation where “as God as my witness” would actually be the correct thing to say

  • Such a weird picture

    So Wolfman and God we’re just chillin having a double patty chicken burger and a rack of honey barbecue ribs but then in the middle of all this, Wolfie stepped out of line, started talking some shit or something and reaching for too much ribs and God had to check him?

    I swear if the Bible had more just everyday “god hangs out with the homies” shit like this id never stop reading

  • “you got a sandwich AND ribs motherfucker – YOU CAN MAKE INFINITE FOOD!”

  • This is basically my interaction with my dog every time I eat.

  • This fool breakin bread with lycans not sharin any of his ribs or his torta. Savage

  • Jesus he’s jacked

  • Why doesn’t this say “so help me me”

  • What does Jesus yell when he stubs his toe?

    “Ow, me!”

  • Rob after the red wedding

  • “Bork bork” says the thief

  • Ironman btw

  • (which is me)

  • Isn’t Jesus gods son

  • What about thee hamburger

  • It looks more like Jesus my impression of God is a big white haired feller that looks like a wizard haha

  • Read this in Archer’s voice

  • Other beliefs believe Jesus and god are separate beings, which actually makes this even more funny to me since it’s closer to “you’d better stop or I’ll make my dad smite you”

  • /u/allano1250


  • Anybody have the original

  • I want them baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back ribs.

  • r/BookOfAdverbs

  • Finna get smote!

  • > (which is me)

    Funny as

  • Ty for reposting I didn’t save this when I first saw it.

  • And that’s how werewolves were created.

  • And don’t even think about touching my quarter pounder

  • Is that a fucking sandwhich? How long have we been eating those things haha

  • Swiper stop swiping!

  • And the Lord said Amen.

  • Dork. Wasn’t he supposed to make Eve with that rib?

  • Who is the wolf man

  • *Takes ribs anyway*

  • My favorite classical art meme of all time. Been looking for it for almost a year!

  • Did I miss the part in the Bible where Jesus kicks Wolfman and discovers that Wolfman has nards?

  • My brain is stupid and read it as “fuck the smite out of you”

  • R/dankchristianmemes

  • Lycanthelus wasn’t the sharpest tooth in the maw…

  • I feel like it would flow better if he just said, “so help me…” And left the “god (which is me)” part out.

  • Swiper no swiping!

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